Questions On Parents And Children

Answer As to the verse, I am not sure, but let me give some passage that speak about the roles of parents and children and what these involve, especially in regard to the scope of parental discipline taught in the Bible.

First, the basic obligation of parents to children and children to parents. Parents are to love, provide for and teach their children according to the way of the Lord and if necessary when this teaching does not correct a child, discipline children, not in a brutal, abusive manner, but in a manner that gets attention and set boundaries. If that should involve some type of physical punishment, not unrestrained beating and torturing of children, then this is permitted according to Scripture.

As to children, they are to obey, honor, respect and eventually, if necessary, provide for their parents. To do less, is to bring disgrace upon themselves and displeasure to their parents and especially to God.

Even though the world would have parents believe that their only function is to cater to their children's every desire and the children's function is to do whatever they desire to do, either with or without the parents' consent, this is not the way of the Lord. And, all we have to do to see the results of such foolish thinking is, look at the moral chaos in our society. Discipline, although unpopular, reflects the Divine nature and should be a part of being a godly parent, no matter what society may think about it. The passages below should reflects the points that I have made in giving this answer.

EPH 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
EPH 6:2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise),
EPH 6:3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.
EPH 6:4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

PRO 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

PRO 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

PRO 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.

PRO 23:13 ś Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die.
PRO 23:14 You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol.

PRO 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

ROM 1:28 ś And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper,
ROM 1:29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips,
ROM 1:30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,
ROM 1:31 without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful;
ROM 1:32 and, although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.

HEB 12:4 You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin;
HEB 12:5 and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, Nor faint when you are reproved by Him;
HEB 12:6 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives. "
HEB 12:7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
HEB 12:8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
HEB 12:9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?
HEB 12:10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness.
HEB 12:11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Contact Gary

Question 2. I recently sent in a question about "Honoring" your father when he is not acting as a Christian. Please explain to me what the term "Honor" means biblically.

Answer To start with, the Bible clearly teaches that one of the foundational principles by which we are to be guided is, we should honor our parents. This is stated in both testaments. Exod. 20:12, Eph. 6:1-4.

Before I get to your question, let me also say that parents have a responsibility to children to guide them in a godly manner and to provide for them what they need (not want). Eph. 6:4, 1 Cor. 12:14, Mt. 7:7-12. Rather than abusing them, parents should love their children and do what is best for them. Although this is not always the case, it is the ideal set forth in Scripture.

Now, what does "honor" mean and imply as it is used in regard to our parents? And, are there limits on this "honoring" of parents? To answer this, notice the following:

1. To honor parents means we should obey them when we are under their authority. Exod. 20:12, Eph. 6:1. Without obedience, honor is just an empty concept. Along with proper respect, obedience must follow. Further, this obedience does not depend on whether parents always lead us in the right direction, but it is a matter that parents are entrusted with authority over children. To disobey is not only harmful to individual families, but also contributes to the downfall of society. Rom. 1:28-32.

2. To honor means we must provide for our parents when they can no longer provide for themselves. Although we have come to depend so much on government for this, we must not forget that God holds children, not government, responsible for the care of parents in their old age. Jesus condemned the generation of His day who were mistreating their parents and not giving to them as they should, not honoring their parents as had been commanded. Mark 7:1-13, 1 Tim. 5.

3. Honoring does not mean we should continue to obey our parents even after we have established our own families. We should continue to respect them and in so far as possible, act lovingly toward them. However, each family must learn to act separately from the other as far as how the family is directed. Gen. 2:18-25. We leave parents and cleave (are cemented) to another, beginning a new family unit. Many troubles are caused when grown married "children" seek to wrongfully "honor" parents instead of carrying out responsibleness to their own families.

4. Finally, honoring parents does also not involve sinning or failing to obey the Lord. Although there are many times when children who are very young may not have much of a choice in the matters. Eventually, there comes a time when, there is a conflict between parents and God, we must stand for God rather than parents. Mt. 10:32-39, Acts 5:29-32. However, this should not be used as an excuse to disobey parent under the guise of following God. Jesus Himself was obedient to His parents. Luke 2:40-52. Contact Gary

Question 3. What is the guide for parents to parenting children and what is the father role and mother's role in a holy family?

Answer When seeking a guide for parenting, there are a few passages that you can take a look at.

Philippians 2:5-11 This passage teaches that we are to love one another and be servants to one another. A parent serves his/her children by teaching them to love God.

Deut. 6 4Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

The emphasis here is that parents teach their children about God and to love Him. This is the most important thing a parent can do for his/her child.

The key to loving God is understanding that loving Him means keeping His commandments: John 14 15“If you love Me, keep My commandments. The Holy Bible, New King James Version, (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc.) 1982.

If you teach your children this, you are doing well.

Another verse to consider is found in Ephesians 6: 4And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. The Holy Bible, New King James Version, (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc.) 1982. Contact Michael

Question 4. I am a stay at home mom and would like to learn about the mother's role in the Bible to help my confidence in staying home with my precious gift from God.

Answer Reply --> You have perhaps the most important job in the world; the most important function in the Kingdom of God

And you are approaching it with exactly the right attitude! I commend your faith.

This is especially close to me, personally, as our first grandchild was born last February. And we are extremely blessed.

God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform, He plants His footsteps in the sea And rides upon the storm.

I don't think it is pure coincidence, the series of events which brought this opportunity to discuss this issue.

I became interested in answering these Bible questions largely through the interest of my loving wife.

And I just picked up a copy of Christianity Magazine this morning, and found two good articles, as I was thinking of how to respond to your inquiry.

I seldom get a chance, in my busy lifestyle, to read this magazine. I recognized one of the authors, "Sister Foy" as we college boys called her, in Nashville in 1967-1969. Powerful Christian woman!

Consider Moses, a great man of God in the Old Testament.

Exod 2:1-10

1 And there went a man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of Levi.

2 And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months.

3 And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river's brink.

4 And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him.

5 And the daughter of Pharaoh came down to wash herself at the river; and her maidens walked along by the river's side; and when she saw the ark among the flags, she sent her maid to fetch it.

6 And when she had opened it, she saw the child: and, behold, the babe wept. And she had compassion on him, and said, This is one of the Hebrews' children.

7 Then said his sister to Pharaoh's daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Hebrew women, that she may nurse the child for thee?

8 And Pharaoh's daughter said to her, Go. And the maid went and called the child's mother.

9 And Pharaoh's daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages. And the woman took the child, and nursed it.

10 And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pharaoh's daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Moses: and she said, Because I drew him out of the water.

(KJV)

Heb 11:23-27

23 By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king's commandment.

24 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter;

25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;

26 Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.

27 By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible.

(KJV)

Now, Moses was raised as the grandson of the King, Pharaoh. After he was weaned that is.

Why then did Moses choose to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of royalty?

I am sure that Moses was educated in the best universities of that age, and understood all wisdom. (And I am sure that this knowledge came in handy later when he was leading God's people.) Moses should have been another Pharaoh, but he chose not to. He chose the path the world would call a loser. Why?

I think it is clear that Moses' mother taught him a lot when he was young, before he was weaned (which could have been age 4).

The preschool years are the formative years for a life. After that, the character is molded, and the concrete is hardened, and it is extremely hard to reshape.

Consider also Timothy:

Acts 16:1-2

1 Then came he to Derbe and Lystra: and, behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timotheus, the son of a certain woman, which was a Jewess, and believed; but his father was a Greek:

2 Which was well reported of by the brethren that were at Lystra and Iconium.

(KJV)

2 Tim 1:1-5

1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus,

2 To Timothy, my dearly beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

3 I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;

4 Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy;

5 When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.

(KJV)

Note the important role that Timothy's mother, played in his spiritual growth and development. And also note the important role Timothy's mother's mother played in her spiritual growth and development!

The first article is on page 23 of the November, 1998 issue of Christianity Magazine. [Edited by Dee Bowman, Paul Earnhart, Sewell Hall, Ed Harrrell and Brent Lewis. P.O. Box 16488, Jacksonville, FL 32216 (904) 725-5903.]

The Need for Homes With Dedicated Mothers By Irene Sowell Foy

Home and family life were begun when the Creator brought woman into existence and placed her by the side of man as a help suited to his needs. That family was to maintain a close relationship, being subject to the man as the head. Woman, with her tender ways, was to love her husband and her children, thus cementing good relationships among all members of the household, uniting them in love and good works for the benefit of all.

When the home grows according to God's pattern, all is well, character is developed, unity is maintained and such a family becomes leaven in the community, and in the family of our Lord.

A nation becomes great when its citizens possess the character of faithful Christians, but when that character begins to erode, the nation's fall has begun. The influence of our Lord's church is no longer felt. Christ-like characters are begun in the home if they are ever begun.

In our country today there are evidences of erosion in every area of life. Immorality has invaded homes to the extent that divorce has become popular. This, combined with the teaching of his satanic majesty that there are no more absolutes is degrading man only to his animal nature.

The influence of Christians for righteous living has so softened and has so suffered from compromise and worldliness and the substitute of manmade standards for the clear "Thus saith the Lord" in the Bible that it has lost its power over sin. As a result, many spiritual restraints, and "thou shalt nots" no longer distinguish Christians from the world.

When woman leaves God's plan for her and elects to chart her own course in life, she will have to reap the results of her own choosing. Wisdom speaks in Prov 1:24-31

24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;

25 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:

26 I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;

27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:

29 For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:

30 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.

31 Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.

(KJV)

The change from God's arrangement for home and family is seriously affecting the lives of our children. They are paying a dear price for this unfortunate change. There is no substitute for a mother of God's design.

Those women who are seeking "liberty" from home responsibilities are robbing their children and their husbands of the love which is their due as the Holy Spirit dictated, "Teach the young women to love their husbands and their children." How can women who are dedicated Christians uphold that which is rebellion against God?

Women today need to follow the example of Hannah as recorded in I Samuel 1 when she accepted her child's coming as a "gift of God" who would be consecrated to His service. Hannah said: "For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him; Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord, as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord."

Our great need today in the world and in the church is to help woman to sanctify herself, soul, mind, and body, to the service originally assigned to her - to be "keepers at home," to accept her children as "gifts from God," and to help her husband prepare them for our Lord's service, thus glorifying Him. Her influence in this respect can outweigh the influence that is cursing the world today, the erosion of all that is good.

In dedicating herself to this highest service she will help to build in the church a consecrated membership. Her work is basic to that end.

A Song For Mothers:

Take my life and let it be Consecrated, Lord to Thee; Take my hands and let them move At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my will and make it Thine, It shall be no longer mine; Take my heart, it is Thine own, It shall be Thy royal throne.

And now, from page 7 of the same issue of the same magazine:

Inherited Faith By Russ Bowman

One week ago, I watched with wonderment as our second little girl was born. Victoria Lynn ("Tori") came into this world as do most babies - screaming and protesting. But she is healthy and her mother is healthy and we have much for which to be thankful.

August 24 was a joyous day, yet along with the joy, there is a sobering gravity that accompanies parenthood. Honesty compels me to admit to some fears that I harbor for my little girls. It is an increasingly corrupt world into which they have been introduced. Dishonesty, violence, sexual perversion, selfishness, godlessness - these are the identifying characteristics of our day. I must admit that I'm scared to death for them. Will they fall victim to Satan, or will they be godly?

I think I understand my responsibility toward them. The job of any parent is to prepare his/hr children to serve the Lord. That is the thrust of the admonition in Ephesians 6:4, and most of us appreciate what God is telling us there, don't we? That's not the difficult part; God has offered His Word for our benefit, and we know how to read it and teach it to our children, just as God directed the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:4f. Again, that's not the hard part. As parents, we are their introduction to the very concept of authority in its every expression. Because they have learned to honor their parents, they will respect their elders, teachers, government, employers, etc. Yet somewhere in that process, there has to be a transition, where they learn to respect God because He is God, and not because we've taught them to respect God. Therein lies the difference between their own faith and my faith.

I believe with every aspect of my being that Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God and that Jehovah lives and reigns and will judge the world by Jesus Christ. I believe the Bible is the inerrant expression of God and that He, through Jesus, saves those who trust and obey. I'm trying my best to make that faith the center of my entire life. But how do I help Haley and Tori to have their own conviction?

It's too easy for us to enforce godliness upon our children as an extension of our own authority, and that should be done to a point. But it concerns me when young adults manifest little personal conviction even though they've been baptized and attend the regular assemblies. There is an inherent danger in inherited faith. Our children need to be converted just as surely as someone who has never known the Lord. If they are "religious" merely because of parental influence or family tradition, they aren't serving God because they have faith in Jesus Christ. They are simply practicing sectarian convention. Personally, I think that's why we see some young folks leave the Lord when they leave the house. The truth is that they were never converted. So, again, "How do I convert my children?"

I don't know exactly all that I can do to instill in my children their own faith, but a couple of observations have occurred to me that might be beneficial.

We need to point our children toward Christ.

I know that sounds simplistic, but they need to see the object of faith, both ours and theirs. I am not the object of my children's faith. They need to be godly because Jesus Christ tells us such, and not because Mom and Dad said that. Every parent has, at some point, replied to the question, "Why?" with the reply, "Because I said so." That is an important and valuable parental too. But somewhere along the way they need to hear and understand, "Because God said so." Paul said, "Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). My kids need to see that I am a disciple of Jesus Christ and that, as their father, I am trying to lead them to the same Lord. At times I may walk ahead of them and at times I may walk beside them. I may have to push or pull or hold their hand, but I must constantly and consistently point to Him as my Leader and as their Leader.

We need to teach the Bible, not tradition.

At some point our kids are going to start questioning their upbringing. They will begin to think for themselves and search out the answers we've been giving them. They will ask why and demand a reason behind our reply And they deserve one. It is imperative, therefore, that we point them to God's Word and that we be honest with it. Our aim as parents is not to convert them to the "Church of Christ" but to Christ Himself. If they are truly converted to Christ, they will learn and understand who and what the church is and they'll not run afield from Christ's teaching concerning His body. But if our instruction is merely some brotherhood policy - "We've always believed this" or "The church of Christ does that" - then we're pointing them toward sectarianism and a denominational concept of serving God. I don't want my children to be mere religionists. I want them to be disciples of Jesus Christ. Again, we need to learn to say "God says …", not "We believe …" There is a huge difference.

How do I help my children to have their own faith? Perhaps simply having the question before us, and being determined to find the answers, is the best way to begin. I want Haley and Tori to be children of the Most High God. I can't do that for them. But I can help Contact David

Question 5. I am looking for passages addressing the love of parents for their children, especially in setting good examples for the children to follow. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.